What every parent of a special needs child wishes you knew

I've been posting notes from the breakouts and sessions of CPC that i attended. I have to be transparent here, this one was different for me. It was led by Ryan and Beth Frank. While looking through the breakouts, my wife said 'You need to go to this one'. I nodded in agreement and looked at all the other options. "But I'd really like to go hear Craig Jutila or Jonathan Cliff". She wrote "MUST" next to the Franks breakout entitled "What every parent of a special needs child wishes you knew". I told her this was out of my comfort zone and I'd been trying to avoid that topic for a while. After all (please don't take this the wrong way) there are so many other things we have to do and get better at. I had never gone to a special needs breakout, have very little knowledge of what these kids and parents go through, and I was (wrongly) comfortable with that. I probably shared the idea, as one fellow kidmin told me, that this was 'the elephant in the room'.

Long story short, I decided the night before to go to this session, fully expecting that my world would get rocked and I would come home with a new vision and passion for ministry to special needs kids. That's exactly what happened. Here's my notes:

Ryan and Beth shared about their daughter and their experience. They didn't claim to have this idea of special needs ministry figured out, but they used some good tools to help those of us that are still very new to this world understand a little better.

Short story--Welcome to Holland--google it

They showed a YouTube video (should be easy to find) highlighting the differences between a child with no auditory or sensory challenges walking down the street, then a child with slight autism or other challenges (I'm not using the right words, as I said I am very new to this topic)

They ended with 10 things every parent of a child with special needs wishes you knew. This may have been the most practical thing I learned at the conference.
1. We don't expect experts, just people who love and care about our child (This can take lots of legwork and prep before Sunday)
2. This is a whole new world for us
Side notes--look up nathanielshope.org, Divorce rate for parents of SN child skyrockets, parents of Autistic child divorce rate close to 90%
3. Understand church can be a challenge for me and my child
4. Please include my child--They want to participate, may not raise their hand
5. Provide an environment that is safe (physically emotionally spiritually) for me and my child...we are doing our best, child's behavior may not always reflect that
6. Don't label or ask 'whats wrong with' my child. Ask what they like. How can we help them.
7. Unless absolutely necessary, do not segregate or separate my child.
8. Learn basic sign language
9. Be ready for anything--have a box of toys, on-call helpers
10. Love, Love, Love--think of my child as an opportunity to show the love of Jesus

I want to thank Ryan and Beth for this breakout. I admit I was reluctant going in, because I knew I had wrongly paid little attention to our special needs ministry. I left this breakout with the beginnings of a vision to reach and minister to the kids and families of special needs kids in our community. I left with a great appreciation for the ladies who have served these kids in our church for years. I also left feeling a calling to learn more and use my influence at our church to bring more attention to this area of ministry.

I recommend going to this breakout if it is offered at CPC in San Diego if you can.

Leading Large Group: Notes from CPC breakout #1

Led by Matt Barnes and Tommy Larson

Worship Teams
use 3-5th graders, with once/month rehearsal, have fun with them, spend last 20-30 minutes investing in them as individuals
use Youth Ministry bands?

Tips
Videotape service and review with team, debrief
practical tool-Planning Center online tool to keep everyone on same page
Ask hosts/storytellers/worship leaders to serve at all services one Sunday a month
Pull from your 'pool' of workers, but look for people that arent involved in your ministry to help once a month. Great role for parents/students
Use Middle Schoolers for preschool large group

Storytellers-
Encourage people to tell stories they way they are comfortable telling them (example: some people can sit on the floor cross-legged and kids will listen, some will do that and kids will jump all over them and be lost for the morning)
Host-needs to know how to set up and wrap up the story

CPC Breakout--First Impressions-Environments matter

CPC Breakout-First Impressions: Environments Matter, led by Sam Luce

Love Disney's intentionality of creating environments. Also Starbucks
Environments are not good or bad, not good vs. evil
What is an environment that kids want to come to? Has to be intentional

Environments matter because they matter to God Exodus 26:1-6 (details of tabernacle)
Goal is not so people will be impressed with how cool our church or stuff is, goal is that people will be overwhelmed by what God is doing--something different--something kids will want to come back to

We will never be able to match Disney or Nickelodeon, but they will never be able to match the relational impact the church can have

Tools only go so far-environments have to be 'values driven'
Redeemer (Sam's church) uses 4 Be attitudes
Be attitudes:
1. Be Safe--check names, backgrounds, cameras in rooms, etc
2. Be courteous--Welcome, smile, be happy to be there, look for people who need help
3. Be engaging--someone needs to know kids names and care about them, if you can't do it all, empower others to do that.
4. Be consistent--use our influence to show that kids matter every week, not just at special events, VBS, etc.

7 ways to make kids feel welcome
1. Talk to them how they talk to you-if they're shy, be shy, etc.
2. Make fun of yourself
3. Stoop down to their level
4. Stay up on kid culture
5. Give them things
6. Learn their names
7. Always greet kids before their parents