Sunday, January 22, 2012
CPC Breakout notes-Seasonal Leadership w Craig Jutila
This was the last breakout of CPC and I decided to go to Craig Jutila's breakout on Seasonal Leadership. I'm in a season of life that seems crazy and hectic to me (2 young kids) but may not be compared to other people. I wanted to hear what Craig had to say about leading through these times.
Here's my notes:
Church is always busy season, but families go through different seasons.
What is your season? Live your season
Biblical example--Jacob. Jacob's struggle with Esau, moved away, last thing Esau said was 'I will kill him'. When Jacob moved back with all his family, Esau tried to get him to run ahead and join him. Jacob looked at his family, his flocks, and said 'If I drive them hard, I'm going to lose them'. Jacob said he will travel at his own pace (even though it would seem smart to all of us that he do whatever Esau wanted!)
Season examples: Single no kids, Married no kids, Married w kids, Single w kids--the more responsibility you have the less time you have to work.
Jesus was single with no kids. As good as it sounds to minister like Jesus did, at his pace, we can only do that if we are in that season.
What happens when one spouse is living seasonally different than the other? The 'V' of marriage drift.
Desired \ / Detached
Exciting \ / Exhausting
Important\ / Insignificant
Dreams \ / Disillusioned
Your job Your marriage
Priorities need to be
Individual---they fit your season
Intentional--They fit your calendar
Investments--They fit your family
Priorities that promote health
1. How are you practicing Soul Care; Take in
2. How are you investing your time? Time out-Buy the opportunity-Take advantage of the opportunity you have
3. How will you connect with others? With your spouse? Team up
Questions to ask your spouse
What was negative in the past few years/weeks/months?
What is going well?
What do we want to do going forward?
4. Who or what will you say no to? Turn Down--good opportunities may not be good for you? everything you say 'yes' to means 'no' to something else
Questions:
Do you recruit people in their seasons? Ask them-don't say their no. Help them reach their potential, not burn out. Talk to them if they are doing too much
This workshop came at a great time for me. I have been choosing, in this season, to spend more time with my family versus more time at church (without neglecting my responsibilities). This was confirmation for me that I am doing the right thing and, no matter what may happen with my job, I will never regret the choices I am making to invest in my family.
Someone else will eventually have my job, no one else will be the husband to my wife that I am supposed to be, or be the father my kids need.
Thanks Craig for a great workshop. I am looking forward to reading his book (coming out in April) called "Hectic to Healthy".
Here's my notes:
Church is always busy season, but families go through different seasons.
What is your season? Live your season
Biblical example--Jacob. Jacob's struggle with Esau, moved away, last thing Esau said was 'I will kill him'. When Jacob moved back with all his family, Esau tried to get him to run ahead and join him. Jacob looked at his family, his flocks, and said 'If I drive them hard, I'm going to lose them'. Jacob said he will travel at his own pace (even though it would seem smart to all of us that he do whatever Esau wanted!)
Season examples: Single no kids, Married no kids, Married w kids, Single w kids--the more responsibility you have the less time you have to work.
Jesus was single with no kids. As good as it sounds to minister like Jesus did, at his pace, we can only do that if we are in that season.
What happens when one spouse is living seasonally different than the other? The 'V' of marriage drift.
Desired \ / Detached
Exciting \ / Exhausting
Important\ / Insignificant
Dreams \ / Disillusioned
Your job Your marriage
Priorities need to be
Individual---they fit your season
Intentional--They fit your calendar
Investments--They fit your family
Priorities that promote health
1. How are you practicing Soul Care; Take in
2. How are you investing your time? Time out-Buy the opportunity-Take advantage of the opportunity you have
3. How will you connect with others? With your spouse? Team up
Questions to ask your spouse
What was negative in the past few years/weeks/months?
What is going well?
What do we want to do going forward?
4. Who or what will you say no to? Turn Down--good opportunities may not be good for you? everything you say 'yes' to means 'no' to something else
Questions:
Do you recruit people in their seasons? Ask them-don't say their no. Help them reach their potential, not burn out. Talk to them if they are doing too much
This workshop came at a great time for me. I have been choosing, in this season, to spend more time with my family versus more time at church (without neglecting my responsibilities). This was confirmation for me that I am doing the right thing and, no matter what may happen with my job, I will never regret the choices I am making to invest in my family.
Someone else will eventually have my job, no one else will be the husband to my wife that I am supposed to be, or be the father my kids need.
Thanks Craig for a great workshop. I am looking forward to reading his book (coming out in April) called "Hectic to Healthy".
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
What every parent of a special needs child wishes you knew
I've been posting notes from the breakouts and sessions of CPC that i attended. I have to be transparent here, this one was different for me. It was led by Ryan and Beth Frank. While looking through the breakouts, my wife said 'You need to go to this one'. I nodded in agreement and looked at all the other options. "But I'd really like to go hear Craig Jutila or Jonathan Cliff". She wrote "MUST" next to the Franks breakout entitled "What every parent of a special needs child wishes you knew". I told her this was out of my comfort zone and I'd been trying to avoid that topic for a while. After all (please don't take this the wrong way) there are so many other things we have to do and get better at. I had never gone to a special needs breakout, have very little knowledge of what these kids and parents go through, and I was (wrongly) comfortable with that. I probably shared the idea, as one fellow kidmin told me, that this was 'the elephant in the room'.
Long story short, I decided the night before to go to this session, fully expecting that my world would get rocked and I would come home with a new vision and passion for ministry to special needs kids. That's exactly what happened. Here's my notes:
Ryan and Beth shared about their daughter and their experience. They didn't claim to have this idea of special needs ministry figured out, but they used some good tools to help those of us that are still very new to this world understand a little better.
Short story--Welcome to Holland--google it
They showed a YouTube video (should be easy to find) highlighting the differences between a child with no auditory or sensory challenges walking down the street, then a child with slight autism or other challenges (I'm not using the right words, as I said I am very new to this topic)
They ended with 10 things every parent of a child with special needs wishes you knew. This may have been the most practical thing I learned at the conference.
1. We don't expect experts, just people who love and care about our child (This can take lots of legwork and prep before Sunday)
2. This is a whole new world for us
Side notes--look up nathanielshope.org, Divorce rate for parents of SN child skyrockets, parents of Autistic child divorce rate close to 90%
3. Understand church can be a challenge for me and my child
4. Please include my child--They want to participate, may not raise their hand
5. Provide an environment that is safe (physically emotionally spiritually) for me and my child...we are doing our best, child's behavior may not always reflect that
6. Don't label or ask 'whats wrong with' my child. Ask what they like. How can we help them.
7. Unless absolutely necessary, do not segregate or separate my child.
8. Learn basic sign language
9. Be ready for anything--have a box of toys, on-call helpers
10. Love, Love, Love--think of my child as an opportunity to show the love of Jesus
I want to thank Ryan and Beth for this breakout. I admit I was reluctant going in, because I knew I had wrongly paid little attention to our special needs ministry. I left this breakout with the beginnings of a vision to reach and minister to the kids and families of special needs kids in our community. I left with a great appreciation for the ladies who have served these kids in our church for years. I also left feeling a calling to learn more and use my influence at our church to bring more attention to this area of ministry.
I recommend going to this breakout if it is offered at CPC in San Diego if you can.
Long story short, I decided the night before to go to this session, fully expecting that my world would get rocked and I would come home with a new vision and passion for ministry to special needs kids. That's exactly what happened. Here's my notes:
Ryan and Beth shared about their daughter and their experience. They didn't claim to have this idea of special needs ministry figured out, but they used some good tools to help those of us that are still very new to this world understand a little better.
Short story--Welcome to Holland--google it
They showed a YouTube video (should be easy to find) highlighting the differences between a child with no auditory or sensory challenges walking down the street, then a child with slight autism or other challenges (I'm not using the right words, as I said I am very new to this topic)
They ended with 10 things every parent of a child with special needs wishes you knew. This may have been the most practical thing I learned at the conference.
1. We don't expect experts, just people who love and care about our child (This can take lots of legwork and prep before Sunday)
2. This is a whole new world for us
Side notes--look up nathanielshope.org, Divorce rate for parents of SN child skyrockets, parents of Autistic child divorce rate close to 90%
3. Understand church can be a challenge for me and my child
4. Please include my child--They want to participate, may not raise their hand
5. Provide an environment that is safe (physically emotionally spiritually) for me and my child...we are doing our best, child's behavior may not always reflect that
6. Don't label or ask 'whats wrong with' my child. Ask what they like. How can we help them.
7. Unless absolutely necessary, do not segregate or separate my child.
8. Learn basic sign language
9. Be ready for anything--have a box of toys, on-call helpers
10. Love, Love, Love--think of my child as an opportunity to show the love of Jesus
I want to thank Ryan and Beth for this breakout. I admit I was reluctant going in, because I knew I had wrongly paid little attention to our special needs ministry. I left this breakout with the beginnings of a vision to reach and minister to the kids and families of special needs kids in our community. I left with a great appreciation for the ladies who have served these kids in our church for years. I also left feeling a calling to learn more and use my influence at our church to bring more attention to this area of ministry.
I recommend going to this breakout if it is offered at CPC in San Diego if you can.
My CPC Notes--Reggie Joiner
General Session #3--Reggie Joiner
No room in God's kingdom for competition--(side note-he never mentioned or pushed 'Orange' curriculum)
No one has more potential to impact a child for God than their parent
23.5% of children live with both of their biological parents married to each other.
Stock family-what picture are we holding up for families?
Even if our pictures don't turn out the way we thought they would, there's a bigger story going on.
God is inviting families into a bigger story, not a better picture.
When you do ministry from a 'bigger story' perspective you give every family hope.
Never buy into the myth that you need to become the 'right' kind of parent before God can use you in your kids lives. Let kids see the struggles and problems and give them a front row seat to the grace of God.
You should
--always have parents who don't get it
--celebrate small changes
--make it easy for parents to win
Churches should do less for kids and more for families.
Make a 'stop to do' list
What happens in YOUR home is more important than what happens in YOUR ministry.
No room in God's kingdom for competition--(side note-he never mentioned or pushed 'Orange' curriculum)
No one has more potential to impact a child for God than their parent
23.5% of children live with both of their biological parents married to each other.
Stock family-what picture are we holding up for families?
Even if our pictures don't turn out the way we thought they would, there's a bigger story going on.
God is inviting families into a bigger story, not a better picture.
When you do ministry from a 'bigger story' perspective you give every family hope.
Never buy into the myth that you need to become the 'right' kind of parent before God can use you in your kids lives. Let kids see the struggles and problems and give them a front row seat to the grace of God.
You should
--always have parents who don't get it
--celebrate small changes
--make it easy for parents to win
Churches should do less for kids and more for families.
Make a 'stop to do' list
What happens in YOUR home is more important than what happens in YOUR ministry.
Monday, January 16, 2012
CPC Review
I know some of you that wish you could have been there and were not able to, so I thought I would share with you the highlights of the conference for me. This was my 2nd CPC but first in 5 years.
Highlights of the conference:
Meeting some great kidmin. This year I got to connect with lots of great kidmin, some I knew, some I met for the first time. I had the opportunity to start new friendships and strengthen existing ones. I spent less time in the general sessions this year and more time hanging out in the hallways talking to people. While I missed out on some of the worship times and keynote speakers, this time was well worth it.
Kidmin Runners meet-up (or an attempt at it) I was priveleged to spend some time with Mike Wilder and Andy Johnson as we ran around the Coronado Springs resort. It's always good to connect with others who share multiple interests with you. Big thanks to Michael Chanley for connecting me with Andy. Also met Jason Martin and Adam Stadtmiller partly due to the meetup.
General Sessions:
As I said before, I missed a big chunk of the general sessions while connecting with others, but it was worth it. I did hear Reggie Joiner, Kyle Idleman, Craig Jutila, and Beth Guckenberger, as well as the networking roundtable. It was cool to see Jim Wideman and family be honored as Jim received the first INCM Legacy award. Go Fish and Denver & the Mile High Orchestra seemed to do a fine job leading worship, though I missed most of it.
Breakouts:
There were lots of breakouts as always and I had a hard time choosing which ones to miss. I chose mainly based on who was presenting, though the topics were important in a few of them. I haven't been to CPC for a few years, but it seemed there were many more presenters who I wanted to go see, and couldn't, this year. My first year I chose based on the topic because I didn't know any of the presenters.
Cool new features:
Networking Launch Party--This was a new event for CPC12. I think it was beneficial. It was led by Michael Chanley, and he would ask a question like "What state were you born in?" so you could find someone to talk to, then give you a ministry question to talk about. I met some new friends at this and thought it was definitely worth the 30 minutes they gave it if not a little more.
Networking lunches--They gave us opportunities to connect with others about specific areas of ministry, or with a breakout presenter that we wanted to hear more from. Both lunches I ended up sitting in an area I wouldn't have chosen, with people I didn't plan on talking with, but both lunches ended up being very helpful to me and I made some new friends along the way.
Takeaways--What did I take away from this conference?
1. New relationships--I formed some new friendships that I know will benefit me and our church's ministry in the future. Hopefully I can be a help to them as well.
2. Special Needs ministry--I sat in a workshop with Ryan and Beth Frank. This was out of my comfort zone and a group of kids we have not served as well as we can. It is, as one fellow kidmin said, 'the elephant in the room'. This is an area and group of kids and families I commit to serving better.
3. It's ok to live in my season--I have two small kids, my season of life means I need to spend more time at home with them now. As much as I love to work, I will be able to go back to putting extra hours in when my kids are gone. I'll never have this time back. I know that and believe that I'm living that. This was confirmation for me that I'm doing the right thing. Check out Craig Jutila's session notes for Seasonal Leadership for more on this.
Overall, I think Michael Chanley and INCM did a great job putting together the conference. The strengths of the conference reflected his experience in networking and connecting with other leaders. Well done!
Highlights of the conference:
Meeting some great kidmin. This year I got to connect with lots of great kidmin, some I knew, some I met for the first time. I had the opportunity to start new friendships and strengthen existing ones. I spent less time in the general sessions this year and more time hanging out in the hallways talking to people. While I missed out on some of the worship times and keynote speakers, this time was well worth it.
Kidmin Runners meet-up (or an attempt at it) I was priveleged to spend some time with Mike Wilder and Andy Johnson as we ran around the Coronado Springs resort. It's always good to connect with others who share multiple interests with you. Big thanks to Michael Chanley for connecting me with Andy. Also met Jason Martin and Adam Stadtmiller partly due to the meetup.
General Sessions:
As I said before, I missed a big chunk of the general sessions while connecting with others, but it was worth it. I did hear Reggie Joiner, Kyle Idleman, Craig Jutila, and Beth Guckenberger, as well as the networking roundtable. It was cool to see Jim Wideman and family be honored as Jim received the first INCM Legacy award. Go Fish and Denver & the Mile High Orchestra seemed to do a fine job leading worship, though I missed most of it.
Breakouts:
There were lots of breakouts as always and I had a hard time choosing which ones to miss. I chose mainly based on who was presenting, though the topics were important in a few of them. I haven't been to CPC for a few years, but it seemed there were many more presenters who I wanted to go see, and couldn't, this year. My first year I chose based on the topic because I didn't know any of the presenters.
Cool new features:
Networking Launch Party--This was a new event for CPC12. I think it was beneficial. It was led by Michael Chanley, and he would ask a question like "What state were you born in?" so you could find someone to talk to, then give you a ministry question to talk about. I met some new friends at this and thought it was definitely worth the 30 minutes they gave it if not a little more.
Networking lunches--They gave us opportunities to connect with others about specific areas of ministry, or with a breakout presenter that we wanted to hear more from. Both lunches I ended up sitting in an area I wouldn't have chosen, with people I didn't plan on talking with, but both lunches ended up being very helpful to me and I made some new friends along the way.
Takeaways--What did I take away from this conference?
1. New relationships--I formed some new friendships that I know will benefit me and our church's ministry in the future. Hopefully I can be a help to them as well.
2. Special Needs ministry--I sat in a workshop with Ryan and Beth Frank. This was out of my comfort zone and a group of kids we have not served as well as we can. It is, as one fellow kidmin said, 'the elephant in the room'. This is an area and group of kids and families I commit to serving better.
3. It's ok to live in my season--I have two small kids, my season of life means I need to spend more time at home with them now. As much as I love to work, I will be able to go back to putting extra hours in when my kids are gone. I'll never have this time back. I know that and believe that I'm living that. This was confirmation for me that I'm doing the right thing. Check out Craig Jutila's session notes for Seasonal Leadership for more on this.
Overall, I think Michael Chanley and INCM did a great job putting together the conference. The strengths of the conference reflected his experience in networking and connecting with other leaders. Well done!
CPC Breakout-Why Parents Matter-Gina McClain
Breakout #3--Why Parents Matter with Gina McClain
Time and Influence
-Our time with the kids is limited
-Our season ends sooner
Methods of connecting with parents
Method 1-Connection Points
-What are you already doing? Use it to connect with parents (example: Family activity, have teens take kids for a game and spend a few minutes sharing with parents)
-What are they already doing? How do we connect there, leverage time parents are already spending with their kdis
Parents want to do what's right for their kids, but they may not know what that is.
Method 2-Watch what you say
What visuals do you use?--Pictures of the 'perfect family' may discourage more than encourage
What recipe do you communicate?
What expert do you highlight?
Use any opportunities you can to lend credibility to parents in front of their kids (example-talking with family about baptism, confirm with the child how their parents have modeled following Jesus and that the child now wants to do this as well)
Method 3-Grafting Opportunities
Where can you unite the family within the church?
What 'next steps' can you help them identify?
What path can you set them on?
Time and Influence
-Our time with the kids is limited
-Our season ends sooner
Methods of connecting with parents
Method 1-Connection Points
-What are you already doing? Use it to connect with parents (example: Family activity, have teens take kids for a game and spend a few minutes sharing with parents)
-What are they already doing? How do we connect there, leverage time parents are already spending with their kdis
Parents want to do what's right for their kids, but they may not know what that is.
Method 2-Watch what you say
What visuals do you use?--Pictures of the 'perfect family' may discourage more than encourage
What recipe do you communicate?
What expert do you highlight?
Use any opportunities you can to lend credibility to parents in front of their kids (example-talking with family about baptism, confirm with the child how their parents have modeled following Jesus and that the child now wants to do this as well)
Method 3-Grafting Opportunities
Where can you unite the family within the church?
What 'next steps' can you help them identify?
What path can you set them on?
Leading Large Group: Notes from CPC breakout #1
Led by Matt Barnes and Tommy Larson
Worship Teams
use 3-5th graders, with once/month rehearsal, have fun with them, spend last 20-30 minutes investing in them as individuals
use Youth Ministry bands?
Tips
Videotape service and review with team, debrief
practical tool-Planning Center online tool to keep everyone on same page
Ask hosts/storytellers/worship leaders to serve at all services one Sunday a month
Pull from your 'pool' of workers, but look for people that arent involved in your ministry to help once a month. Great role for parents/students
Use Middle Schoolers for preschool large group
Storytellers-
Encourage people to tell stories they way they are comfortable telling them (example: some people can sit on the floor cross-legged and kids will listen, some will do that and kids will jump all over them and be lost for the morning)
Host-needs to know how to set up and wrap up the story
Worship Teams
use 3-5th graders, with once/month rehearsal, have fun with them, spend last 20-30 minutes investing in them as individuals
use Youth Ministry bands?
Tips
Videotape service and review with team, debrief
practical tool-Planning Center online tool to keep everyone on same page
Ask hosts/storytellers/worship leaders to serve at all services one Sunday a month
Pull from your 'pool' of workers, but look for people that arent involved in your ministry to help once a month. Great role for parents/students
Use Middle Schoolers for preschool large group
Storytellers-
Encourage people to tell stories they way they are comfortable telling them (example: some people can sit on the floor cross-legged and kids will listen, some will do that and kids will jump all over them and be lost for the morning)
Host-needs to know how to set up and wrap up the story
Notes from CPC General Session 1-Kyle Idleman
Kids Ministry-What you win them with is what you win them to
How do we win kids to "take up your cross, deny yourself, and follow me?"
Come after means "passionate pursuit"
What do they think about at night when they go to bed, in the morning when they wake up?
am I passionately pursuing Christ?
Imparting truth is not downloading information, it's making them fall in love with Jesus
Call them to complete commitment
Means calling people to make a daily decision to die. Die to myself, my desires, my flesh, my passion, in order to live for him
How do we preach the gospel of 'die to self' to a culture that bought 20 million Snuggies last year?
Practical steps-Pray every morning "I die to myself today"
How do we win kids to "take up your cross, deny yourself, and follow me?"
Come after means "passionate pursuit"
What do they think about at night when they go to bed, in the morning when they wake up?
am I passionately pursuing Christ?
Imparting truth is not downloading information, it's making them fall in love with Jesus
Call them to complete commitment
Means calling people to make a daily decision to die. Die to myself, my desires, my flesh, my passion, in order to live for him
How do we preach the gospel of 'die to self' to a culture that bought 20 million Snuggies last year?
Practical steps-Pray every morning "I die to myself today"
CPC Breakout--First Impressions-Environments matter
CPC Breakout-First Impressions: Environments Matter, led by Sam Luce
Love Disney's intentionality of creating environments. Also Starbucks
Environments are not good or bad, not good vs. evil
What is an environment that kids want to come to? Has to be intentional
Environments matter because they matter to God Exodus 26:1-6 (details of tabernacle)
Goal is not so people will be impressed with how cool our church or stuff is, goal is that people will be overwhelmed by what God is doing--something different--something kids will want to come back to
We will never be able to match Disney or Nickelodeon, but they will never be able to match the relational impact the church can have
Tools only go so far-environments have to be 'values driven'
Redeemer (Sam's church) uses 4 Be attitudes
Be attitudes:
1. Be Safe--check names, backgrounds, cameras in rooms, etc
2. Be courteous--Welcome, smile, be happy to be there, look for people who need help
3. Be engaging--someone needs to know kids names and care about them, if you can't do it all, empower others to do that.
4. Be consistent--use our influence to show that kids matter every week, not just at special events, VBS, etc.
7 ways to make kids feel welcome
1. Talk to them how they talk to you-if they're shy, be shy, etc.
2. Make fun of yourself
3. Stoop down to their level
4. Stay up on kid culture
5. Give them things
6. Learn their names
7. Always greet kids before their parents
Love Disney's intentionality of creating environments. Also Starbucks
Environments are not good or bad, not good vs. evil
What is an environment that kids want to come to? Has to be intentional
Environments matter because they matter to God Exodus 26:1-6 (details of tabernacle)
Goal is not so people will be impressed with how cool our church or stuff is, goal is that people will be overwhelmed by what God is doing--something different--something kids will want to come back to
We will never be able to match Disney or Nickelodeon, but they will never be able to match the relational impact the church can have
Tools only go so far-environments have to be 'values driven'
Redeemer (Sam's church) uses 4 Be attitudes
Be attitudes:
1. Be Safe--check names, backgrounds, cameras in rooms, etc
2. Be courteous--Welcome, smile, be happy to be there, look for people who need help
3. Be engaging--someone needs to know kids names and care about them, if you can't do it all, empower others to do that.
4. Be consistent--use our influence to show that kids matter every week, not just at special events, VBS, etc.
7 ways to make kids feel welcome
1. Talk to them how they talk to you-if they're shy, be shy, etc.
2. Make fun of yourself
3. Stoop down to their level
4. Stay up on kid culture
5. Give them things
6. Learn their names
7. Always greet kids before their parents
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